Ive forgotten what happiness is. I’m numb. Nobody asks how I am…I’m good at pretending I’m fine and now people just assume I’m great when I’ve hit rock bottom again. I try to talk about my problems with certain people and they get thrown back in my face, I’m made to feel bad for being upset by things. Im forced to hold all my problems inside and then I get moaned at for bottling things up. I cant do anything right. I don’t feel loved by anyone, I definitely don’t feel loved by the one person that I want to adore me. I’m not good enough. I’m not pretty, skinny, funny, lighthearted or healthy. I don’t blame people for not being able to love me. Underneath my moody body, I am so caring and loving. I need people to take time and understand me for that side to shine through. I want to feel special and wanted. I want to feel happiness. Life sucks. Depression sucks. The bad thoughts have returned and I’m still expected to stay strong and fight through it. It’s really draining having to do that daily. Fuck.